Diary of sickos' dream

[Deadman1709]

I had another dream about my time in high school and secondary school. Was I missing something during those years?

Anyway, though I can't remember very well what it was in detail; but what I know is in every dream, I am a riot instigator. I wanted to break shit down, blow shit up, and light everything on fire.

[Crimsoneyes]

Last night in my dream I confessed to my girl, she did not turn me down, but she said: " you have to be a grown up first. Let see, if you throw away your PSP, never read manga, watch anime again...." That's when I woke up...
I don't know if I confess to her in reality she will say the same thing or not, but maybe a part of me also want to throw away the beloved PSP, delete all the manga and anime piled up in the last 4 years and become a grown up. I don't know of it's already the time or not

You can try universal way, go find some hookers and prove yourself a man
Another way is being GAR , like Golgo 13 with million $ in your pocket, that's damn true man

[Deadman1709]

Nguyên văn bởi Crimsoneyes

Last night in my dream I confessed to my girl, she did not turn me down, but she said: " you have to be a grown up first. Let see, if you throw away your PSP, never read manga, watch anime again...." That's when I woke up...
I don't know if I confess to her in reality she will say the same thing or not, but maybe a part of me also want to throw away the beloved PSP, delete all the manga and anime piled up in the last 4 years and become a grown up. I don't know of it's already the time or not

It depends on what you define a man is. Take the average case: middle-class city dweller, work for a company and have a job you don't really like.

Then most likely a man will be a person who waste 8 hours everyday plus travel time under fluorescent light, sitting in front of a computer and inside a cubicle. You do shit you don't like, have no control over your work and get pissed on by your boss. Your job is monotonous, boring and mind-numbing. Most middle-class, city dwellers will end up like this; so if a man means the majority, congratulation. On the plus side: you got a decent salary, but your life is ... fucking uninteresting. You got to know the stupid popular culture shit: what drama is on TV last night, what's the latest of show X, Y, Z, how this and that football team is doing, etc ... to get along with your coworkers. And you really don't like pop culture. Face it, you have an otaku side somewhere. And you feel miserable. Most people kill themselves because they have a life like this.

Of course there are countless menial physical labour (gas pumper, waiter, cashier, clerk, customer service, etc ...) which you really won't like it, and they pay is pathetic.

So if you have either job from the category above and stop watching anime, reading manga and playing games; while doing no drugs (if you actually do: LSD, ecstasy, and marijuana recommended. Heroin, morphine, methamphetamine, amphetamine, crack cocaine, cocaine NOT recommended) , banging no hookers, having no one night stand or having no mad party; I really don't know what else is there for you. Really. There's nothing enjoyable for you no more. You can have a woman bonded for life, yes, but she's not gonna entertain you the same way a hooker or stripper do. Guilty pleasures have its own perk: it keeps you from killing yourself (and give you a degree of or the illusion of enjoying your life). Joy is just a chemical (serotonin), any of the mentioned guilty pleasures can give you serotonin. And you kinda need it to stay happy .
See, heroin can give you a crippling addiction but because you want to chase the high you get, you don't wanna kill yourself over stupid shit like ... work. Every problem in life is toned way down or forgotten. You forget the pain since you have the relief by a shot of heroin. Still, you can still accidentally kill yourself by going a little too far and shoot up too much into your veins. Same way with hookers, game online, porn, hentai, A/M.

@sos505: here's a part of my answer why people like playing game online. Not a complete answer though; I haven't mention high school and younger student, but they share a similar experience.

Now you can find a job you really like where you get to do what you want to do. However, these jobs are rare, lots of competition, demand a high qualification and experience or have a pathetic pay. Medicine doctors, pharmacist, and principle investigators (scientific researchers) usually fulfill the first 3 categories. A graduate student (on your way to the previous 3 dream jobs) can do what you like, and fairly enjoy your work. However, you have very long work hours, frequent all-nighter, and a pathetic pay. When your position in society is that high or that low, nobody gives a fuck about your personal life, as long as you don't kill somebody (doctor, pharmacist), or doing something unethical or controversial (researchers and grad student)

Professional criminal life seems to give you the most though: you get to do what you like, you (reasonably) enjoy your job as long as you don't get caught, nobody gives a fuck what you watch last night and you have a really nice pay. But there's risk of you getting crippling wound (fuck, no insurance), killed by your rival, got raped in the ass in prison or got shot in the chest by a firing squad (or a dose of KCl as in lethal injection). But it's a statistic thing. See, a whooping large number of criminals die or go to prison every year, yet an even larger number till hangin' around, so may be you'll be fine. It's an exciting but dangerous and potentially short life.

Choose your poison then . Or take a real dose of poison (morphine and heroin recommended) and cut the pain altogether. Then let them throw dirt on your face and let the worms eat you.

[Crimsoneyes]

Thanks for your long writing explain so clearly for me what the man is. However, I think the definition varies with different people. For me, the ideal man should be:
- Knowledgeable
- Can earn money to support his family (no need too much but has to be enough so that his family doesn't have to worry about it)
- Care about others, especially his family (mean family first)
- Have pride
It's true now I'm in deep shit with my fucking boring job like the majority city dweller. Pay is low, working far away from home, no holiday, have to move around quite a bit. That's why I always have to carry around my PSP, Ipod and a laptop with over 500Gb anime and manga and spent almost every night with it. It's so hard to start a family this way that's why I always want to change once and for all
However, at least, this job help me have my own pride, people nearest to me like my parents can be proud of me. And that's what keeping me up to stand as a normal man in this hellish life
But shit, the girls around me are so demanding, they want a house with garage and a car in it, they even date with some old fat ass for those stupid damn things. I always wish I can date someone like Nagisa in Clannad or someone I can discuss anime and game with. Comparing to Nagisa, the 3D girls around me are no more than scum. That's what making me headache.
I'm going to change, but job only, anime has nothing to do with it.

[Deadman1709]

@Crimsoneyes: just remember the following words by Chris Rock:
"if you're a woman, no one is gonna not fuck you cause you're broke. Pussy is like Visa: 'accepted everywhere'".

It's true now I'm in deep shit with my fucking boring job like the majority city dweller. Pay is low, working far away from home, no holiday, have to move around quite a bit. That's why I always have to carry around my PSP, Ipod and a laptop with over 500Gb anime and manga and spent almost every night with it. It's so hard to start a family this way that's why I always want to change once and for all
However, at least, this job help me have my own pride, people nearest to me like my parents can be proud of me. And that's what keeping me up to stand as a normal man in this hellish life
But shit, the girls around me are so demanding, they want a house with garage and a car in it, they even date with some old fat ass for those stupid damn things. I always wish I can date someone like Nagisa in Clannad or someone I can discuss anime and game with. Comparing to Nagisa, the 3D girls around me are no more than scum. That's what making me headache.
I'm going to change, but job only, anime has nothing to do with it.

I have a cousin who currently going out with one "poor like shit" guy who has no knowledge, no money, no pride at all. And the whole family wanna kick her ass out of the house. You know, there are always girls in this world looking for "unexpected affair" The chance you can reach them is quite small but worth a try. Take a bike and ride around the country with a cause in your heart : "Find a true GF" May be some of them will fall for you
Well, I've seen the type you mentioned before. The girl can play game (WoW), watching anime and stuffs but ... Looking at her face make me vomit.

[Crimsoneyes]

Nguyên văn bởi Big Bad Wolf

I have a cousin who currently going out with one "poor like shit" guy who has no knowledge, no money, no pride at all. And the whole family wanna kick her ass out of the house. You know, there are always girls in this world looking for "unexpected affair" The chance you can reach them is quite small but worth a try. Take a bike and ride around the country with a cause in your heart : "Find a true GF" May be some of them will fall for you

Well, thanks for your advice. I'll do that when I earn enough, maybe the time is very near

Nguyên văn bởi Big Bad Wolf

Well, I've seen the type you mentioned before. The girl can play game (WoW), watching anime and stuffs but ... Looking at her face make me vomit.

I completely agree with you. That's the reason why Konata is so famous around the world.

[Deadman1709]

Nguyên văn bởi Crimsoneyes

I completely agree with you. That's the reason why Konata is so famous around the world.

If you really like Lucky Star, then the below img is not for you.

[Deadman1709]

I feel like I had a dream in which I seriously plan a murder.

Then somewhere in there I remembered that I'm 21 now. And planning a murder which involve an ambush is a first degree murder.